Releasing the Pressure - Stress Management for Unpaid Carers

Let’s be honest, being an unpaid carer is stressful. It’s something most of us feel daily, and it’s easy to let it pile up until it feels unmanageable. The constant juggling act of caring for someone else while trying to keep yourself going can be overwhelming. That’s why understanding and managing stress is so important. It's not about just getting by, it’s about keeping yourself well enough to keep going.

Why Does Managing Stress Matter?

Stress isn’t just something that makes you feel a bit frazzled, it can take a serious toll on your health. And when you’re an unpaid carer, the stakes are even higher. We’re talking about the kind of stress that comes from watching someone you love decline or feeling like there’s never enough time for yourself.

If we’re not careful, stress can lead to burnout. It’s that moment when you feel physically and emotionally exhausted, and even the smallest tasks feel like mountains. I know many of us have felt it before. In fact, a 2022 survey by Carers UK found that 72% of unpaid carers reported feeling exhausted or worn out from their caring role, with many struggling to cope. When you think about it, that’s shocking but sadly, not surprising?

How Does Stress Show Up for Us?

Stress creeps in quietly, and sometimes we don’t even notice the signs until it’s right on top of us. But it shows up in so many ways, and it can take a toll both physically and emotionally.

Physically, you might start to feel it in your body before anything else. You know that tension in your neck and shoulders that never quite seems to go away? Or maybe headaches that creep in during the day? For some, stress affects the stomach, making digestion difficult or leaving you feeling queasy. And then there’s sleep, suddenly, getting a good night's rest feels like a luxury you can’t afford, even when you're exhausted. You lie awake with your mind racing, thinking about everything that still needs doing or worrying about your loved one.

Emotionally, it can be just as draining. You might find yourself feeling irritable, snappy, or more anxious than usual. Little things that wouldn't normally bother you suddenly feel overwhelming, and that constant worry can lead to feeling emotionally worn out. There's often this underlying sense of being on edge, waiting for the next thing to go wrong or for someone to need something from you. And then there’s the guilt, the part of you that feels resentful at times, resentful of how much you're juggling and how little help you’re getting. And that only makes things harder, because you feel guilty for feeling that way?

And when you're trying to juggle caring responsibilities alongside everything else - work, family, running the house, it’s easy to feel like you're running on empty.

Recognising these signs is the first step towards taking action. It’s a reminder that we need to take care of ourselves as well. Taking steps to manage stress isn't just about you, it’s about being able to show up fully for the people who depend on you. And sometimes, that starts with recognising when enough is enough and reaching out for help, whether that's from friends, family, or professional support.

Practical Ways to Handle Stress

So, how do we actually manage it? Here are a few things that have worked for many carers (myself included):

Time Management I know it’s easier said than done, but a bit of structure can make a world of difference when you're juggling so much. Caring can often feel like there's no end to the tasks, and we end up just reacting to one thing after another. But taking some time to get organised, even in small ways, can help you feel more in control. Here are some suggestions to help you put some structure in place:

Start by writing down what needs doing each day or week. This doesn’t have to be an elaborate plan, just a list of tasks so you can see what’s in front of you. Prioritise the most important things and, crucially, see if there’s anything that can wait. Delegating where possible is key. I know for many of us it feels difficult to ask for help, but sharing responsibilities, even for the little things, can take some of the pressure off.

Saying "no" is something we all struggle with at times, but it's important to learn. There will always be things that seem urgent but aren’t truly essential, and learning to say “no” to those can free up space for what really matters. Even small changes like this can make your day feel more manageable, giving you a bit of breathing room in what can feel like an endless cycle.

Remember, you don't have to be perfect at it, and every day won’t go according to plan. But putting some structure in place is a step towards feeling less overwhelmed and more in control of your time.

Finding Little Moments for Yourself I know as unpaid carers, the idea of finding time for yourself can seem impossible. We’re not talking about taking a week away (though wouldn’t that be nice!), but even just grabbing a few minutes here and there can make a real difference to how you feel. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, sometimes, it's the small things that can help reset your mind.

It could be as simple as practicing deep breathing exercises for a couple of minutes, taking slow, intentional breaths to calm your nervous system. Or maybe stretching out your arms and legs when you’ve been sitting for too long, just to shake off that tension. If you can manage it, stepping outside for a quick walk, even if it’s just around the block or standing in the garden, can refresh your senses. There's something about a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery that helps you feel more grounded.

The key is finding these small windows of time, where you can pause, even for a few moments, and check in with yourself. It’s about building these little acts of self-care into your day in a way that feels natural, when the kettle’s boiling, between phone calls, or while waiting for an appointment. These moments might not seem like much, but they can be surprisingly effective in helping you feel a bit more centred and capable of facing what comes next.

Mindfulness

When your mind feels like it’s running a mile a minute, mindfulness can really help slow things down. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just a few minutes of focused breathing can make a world of difference. Try this: sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. As thoughts pop up (which they will), just gently guide your attention back to your breathing. If you’re feeling particularly scattered, grounding yourself can also be a effective. Take a moment to notice what you can see, hear, and feel around you. Maybe it's the warmth of your cup of tea, the sound of a car passing by, or the sight of a familiar photo in your home. This simple act of bringing your awareness to the present moment can help break cycles of overwhelming thoughts.

Reach Out for Support

One of the hardest parts of being an unpaid carer is feeling like you're carrying the weight of the world on your own shoulders. But the truth is, you don’t have to. Reaching out for support can feel a bit daunting at first, but it can also be one of the most effective ways to lighten the load. Whether it’s chatting with a friend, venting to a family member, or joining a carer support group, sharing your experience can feel like a breath of fresh air. Even just talking to someone who gets it, another carer or a trusted friend, can help you feel seen and understood. You might be surprised how much lighter things feel when you’re not bottling it all up inside.

Be Kind to Yourself

If there’s one thing we all need to hear more often, it’s this ‘be kind to yourself’. As unpaid carers, we can be our own toughest critics, always thinking about what we didn’t do or what we could’ve done better. But the reality is, you’re doing the best you can. It’s so easy to focus on what went wrong, but take a moment to recognise the small wins. Even getting through the day in one piece is worth acknowledging. Self-compassion isn’t about lowering your standards, it’s about recognising that you’re human and you deserve the same kindness you’d give anyone else in your position.

Getting Started

You don’t have to try everything at once. In fact, that can be overwhelming. Start small. Pick one or two things that feel manageable, maybe it’s taking five minutes for mindfulness or having a quick chat with a friend, and work them into your day. The key is consistency. It’s those little steps that add up over time and make a real difference in how you feel and cope.

When It’s Time to Seek Help

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the stress can feel like it’s taking over. If you’re finding that things aren’t getting better, or if you're feeling persistently low, it’s important to reach out for professional help. There’s absolutely no shame in talking to your GP or seeing a counsellor. In fact, recognising when you need extra support is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s a way of taking care of yourself, so you can continue caring for others in the best way possible. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

Final Thoughts

Managing stress is about making sure you’re in the best possible shape to care for yourself and your loved one. You’re just as important as the person you care for and looking after yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. So, let’s make stress management a priority, even in small ways. You deserve it!

Disclaimer

This article provides general guidance on managing stress for unpaid carers. The information shared is for educational purposes only and should not be regarded as professional advice. Every caring situation is different, and what helps one carer may not be suitable for another.

We encourage readers to seek advice from healthcare professionals, social workers, or counsellors for personalised support tailored to their specific circumstances. If you are experiencing significant stress or health concerns related to your caring role, please seek immediate professional assistance.

The authors and publishers of this article are not responsible for any actions taken based on this information. Managing stress can be challenging, particularly in a caring context. Always prioritise your own well-being and that of the person you care for when adopting any new strategies.